


Nameless Ways of Living

by empty_room



Series: Nine Lives [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Domestic Violence, Dubious Consent, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Science Fiction, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:21:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23691532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empty_room/pseuds/empty_room
Summary: A pet that barely knows who he is.A spy pretending to be a loving boyfriend.A general working on a secret project.It probably won't end well.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Nine Lives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744150
Comments: 50
Kudos: 126





	1. Chapter 1

He did not really have a name. He was Cutie or Kitten or Pet when his owner was in a good mood, or when not he was a whole long litany of insults. So when his owner’s current boyfriend asked him what his name was, he simply went, “Er,” but very quietly, because he had gotten out of habit of making much sound.

“What does Nicias call you?” Lian asked.

“Lots of things…” he answered.

“Do you like any of them?”

“It’s nice when he calls me Kitten?” he said.

“Fucking hell. He didn’t even name you.”

There was no need to point out that he wasn’t the one choosing to date Nicias. Lian had been over many times already, but this was the first time Lian had wanted to spend more than a second looking at him. It was weird. He didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Kitten, can you take your shirt off? I want to see something.”

It sounded kinda nice when Lian said it. He took his shirt off, because he knew that if Nicias had let Lian stay in the apartment, he should do what Lian said. He was not at his prettiest, he knew, and he flinched when Lian pressed the bruises on his ribs.

“These are broken.”

He thought this was so utterly obvious that there would have been no need to comment. He knew broken bones healed fine if they didn’t move out of place. The nanotech in his blood knitted everything back together every time. That was how he was made.

“Does it hurt when you breathe?”

“Yes, sir,” he answered. “But it’s okay. It will fix itself.” This was the most he had talked about in what felt like forever.

Lian’s face clearly said that he did not think it was okay at all. “You can put it back on.”

He put the top back on, and hovered, unsure about what to do now.

“Do you like him?” Lian asked.

He chewed his lip, resenting immensely how unfair this question was. “I like it when he’s nice to me,” he said, always knowing how to make the safe answer.

“He’s not nice to you often, is he,” Lian said.

It was not a question, so there was no need to answer.

“Do you want something for the pain?”

“It won’t work,” he answered, knowing that most of contents of the medicine cabinet had no effect on his body.

“This will,” Lian assured.

He took the pill that was offered, letting it melt on his tongue like Lian told him to. “Oh,” he said, when he started to feel it, everything steadily going fuzzy. Lian helped him lie down on the sofa, and sat down next to his head.

“After a while, he won’t be nice to you either,” he said, without thinking at all, whatever he had taken having stripped all inhibitions. It felt nice. Lian stroking the back of his neck felt nice too, until he was asleep.

~

Lian waited for a little while until he was certain the pet wasn’t going to wake up. The drug was good for a few hours at least, so he took his time examining the bruises slowly. He was certain whatever he did here was private. He had already checked multiple times and found that there was no surveillance inside the apartment, only on the exits and the windows.

He made a voice only call in the middle of performing a systems check on the neural implants. He opened with, “Thought I should check in.”

“Finally. How’s it going?” There was a slight delay to the response, so his handlers were far away at the moment.

“Well, he trusts me now to let me sleep in and play with his toys. He should be back in a few hours. Thought I could be charming and cook him lunch. Can you tell me about his pet?”

“Give me a moment. Do you want a file, or a quick summary?”

“Quick summary.”

“Seems like it was a direct purchase from one of the smaller companies. Very expensive, but there seem to be no interesting modifications. He wanted a cute teenager that could deepthroat. It’s very pedestrian.”

“Do you think he can read?”

“What, the pet?”

“Yes, the pet,” Lian answered, rolling his eyes.

“There is nothing academic listed in these files. Probably not. What, you think you can use him?”

“Sure,” Lian said easily. “I’ll treat him nicely for a bit and he’ll adore me. It’s so easy when they’re treated like shit.” He ran his fingers through Kitten’s short hair. The implants he could sense were fairly new, a good guess for the construct’s actual age. “I don’t think this one is old enough to see through me.”

“Don’t get attached again. How are you doing with the files?”

“Not well. I can’t deal with the encryption without my full implants.”

“We knew that might be an issue.”

“I’ll work something out,” Lian answered. “I might just try to steal the password.”

“Be careful. It’s taken you months to get here.”

“Don’t worry. I bet you the general will ask me to move in a few weeks. Then it will be easier.” Things were finally moving along, but Lian knew his work could take a long time.

“Call us again when you can.”

“I will.”


	2. Chapter 2

“No offense, Nicias, but it’s a bit weird,” Lian said, lying lazily in Nicias’s bed. He had moved his possessions into the spare bedroom and had filled the second study with books and artefacts only yesterday, and he was still getting used to being in the apartment. “I do kinda look like him.”

Nicias laughed. “Maybe I just have a type.”

Lian stretched, making sure to look mildly aggravated by an annoying joke, but not aggravated enough for Nicias to take it seriously. These things were a balance. Finding it was important. He could not afford to make Nicias think he was too much of a doormat. That would be suspicious. But he could not spend too long disagreeing, because that would bore Nicias.

“It’s not that close,” Nicias said. “Other than you’re pretty and have black hair.”

Lian made a face. “Don’t call me pretty.”

Nicias smiled and kissed his shoulder. He thought that Lian just didn’t want to be compared to a construct. “Unlike him, you’re real person.”

Lian snorted.

“What?” Nicias said, running his knuckles down Lian’s spine in the way he had learned Lian liked. “You disagree?”

“A bit, yeah,” Lian said easily. Relationships needed disagreements to be healthy, Lian had learned from experience. It was best to pick something safely unimportant, like a minor bit of philosophy or politics.

“He’s just a construct. Grown in a tank in some lab.”

“So is that one we met at that dinner party. What was the name. Something complicated. Something about the sun?”

“Are you talking about the architect Sunlight Gives Birth To Shadows?” What did that one have to do with anything?

“You treated them with every courtesy,” Lian said. “And they definitely came out of a lab.” The architect had been far less human than Kitten, with fewer of the expected mannerisms and a thought process that did not always seem to make sense. Lian had avoided talking to the architect, but he had seen how discomforted the other guests had been. It had been very educational.

“Yes. However, the architect’s conclave has enough artillery to reduce the station to scrap. That does not make that thing a person either, but it does mean we have to be polite.”

Lian shifted to look at Nicias.

“Do you feel soft towards them because you have implants too?” Nicias asked. “Sorry, I had to pull your medical records,” he added, when Lian stiffened up.

“You had no right to do that.” Lian was not unduly worried. If the documents hadn’t held, he wouldn’t be naked in Nicias’s bed right now. But it was correct to be offended.

“I had to. I can’t invite just anyone here,” Nicias said, soothingly stroking Lian’s back. “But implants do not make you anything like them. You are not an object created for some purpose.”

Lian grumbled, letting himself relax again. It was a while before he spoke again, as if he had spent a while mulling over Nicias’s words. “What are you going to tell me next, that I have a soul and he doesn’t?”

“That’s true, isn’t it?”

Lian snorted. He had known already that Nicias held the most common faith on the station, but having it confirmed was somehow amusing anyway.

“Do you not believe that?” Nicias asked.

“I’m sorry, Nicias. I was raised with Narreite shamanism,” Lian said. “As a cynic, instead of believing everything has a soul, I’ve started believing nothing has a soul. We’re just meat.”

“I forgot you’re off a dirtball,” Nicias said. It inevitably changed the perspective of a person. “Did you even have a machinists down there?”

“Nope,” Lian said. “There wasn’t anything they were interested in on Narrei. Plus the nearest conclave was… I don’t know. Weeks away, I think? I was never really interested.”

“See, that’s why you think they might be like us. They are not.”

Lian sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I’m just not used to living with one of them.”

“He’s just a pet. It’s not like he’s terribly smart,” Nicias said. “Just tell him to go to his room if he’s annoying you. Or do whatever you like. He’ll do what he’s told, and he’ll take whatever you give him.”

“I suppose…” Lian said. “Where is he, anyway?”

“I assume he’s in his room. Or poking around the apartment somewhere. He’s a nosy little shit.” The second was a kind of disobedience and would need to be punished. “Want me to fetch him?” Nicias asked, with eyebrows raised.

“No!” Lian said quickly. He did not want to spice things up in the bedroom in that way. “Let’s not talk about it anymore.”

“Fine,” Nicias said, no longer interested in the subject anyway. It wasn’t important. “When do you need to be at work tomorrow?”

“I don’t,” Lian said, smiling slowly at Nicias. “I said I’d need a few days for the move and asked to skip the meetings tomorrow.” He had made sure to have a job that did not require a lot of effort. Lecturing an introductory course in a subject he was familiar with was a good cover, and would allow for a reasonable amount of eccentricity.

“Aren’t you a sly one?” Nicias asked, smiling back.

“Yup. I thought I could celebrate my move by fucking your brains out,” Lian said, moving in to kiss Nicias. “Any objections?”

“Absolutely none,” Nicias answered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who have commented, it's really helping to keep me motivated to put this in order. ^^

Lian declined to attend the conference with an artful ‘oh, that sort of military stuff doesn’t interest me’ and ‘I’ll use the time to catch up on some work’ as well as ‘that’s really far away, and I hate being in a ship that long’. Now that Lian lived in the apartment, Kitten was learning to tell when he lying. He did not know why Lian had really not wanted to go, but it was not important either.

It was weird to be in the apartment alone with Lian for _days_. Lian had a different routine, and Kitten had not yet learned to when it was correct to keep out of the way, or make himself available. If he got it wrong, would he be punished by Lian, or would Lian tell Nicias he misbehaved? It was hard to work out. But Lian never seemed to want anything sexual and only smiled when he caught Kitten stealing the nice food from the kitchen. The next time he gave Kitten permission to eat whatever he fancied while it was just the two of them. Kitten was still wary, but nothing happened when he ate all the cheese and one of the fancy soups the chef had left for Lian.

He could not help comparing Lian to Nicias’s previous boyfriends. Lian was handsome, but Nicias always had handsome boyfriends. Still, Kitten did like how Lian looked: with dark hair and dark eyes and freckles on his shoulders.

Lian did not seem besotted with Nicias, like some of them. Or in love with the importance of Nicias’s position. Or want to lie around in luxury. Lian went to work, came back, read in his study, sat in Nicias’s study, lay on the sofa, sat on the balcony, ate in the kitchen instead of in the dining room. He did not invite friends around, but Kitten was sure he had some, because sometimes Lian returned smelling of alcohol or strange foods.

When a slice of chocolate cake was left on the counter, Kitten wondered if it was a trap. He left it there almost for the whole day, but then curiosity made him try it. He was disappointed when he found out that cocoa was not really to his taste and that the whole thing was too rich. It was not the sort of food he was used to. He left it half eaten.

Lian guessed well what was wrong with it, because the next slice was with a white cream and a pale sponge and dark red berries, much lighter. Kitten got the hint, and ate all of it, and couldn’t help wanting more when it was gone. He did not understand what game Lian was playing, but he hoped it wouldn’t turn out to be mean.

It took him a few more days, and a few more desserts, to get enough courage to go to Lian. He was sure those little favours would need to be paid for. He did not dare to interfere with what Lian was doing, so he knelt next to couch where Lian was curled up and reading. After a while, Lian tossed down a cushion, which Kitten gratefully moved onto, but also moved closer to Lian. The next day he tried leaning his face against Lian’s knee, which got him a pat on the head.

“Are you trying to cuddle?” Lian asked, a couple of days later, when Kitten was pressing his body against Lian’s leg.

Kitten did not know how to answer, but Lian made it easy by patting the couch next to himself, so Kitten knew what to do and came up to curl against Lian’s side. It felt so good to be next to someone that Kitten was instantly burning with arousal, but Lian either didn’t notice or pretended not to. That was unexpectedly pleasant, but he found that he was wondering what it would be like if Lian did fuck him. Would he be rough, like his owner? Or very gentle, like Kitten’s favourite of Nicias’s ex-boyfriends?

Lian left more nice bits of food for him, and did little more other than pet his hair and stroke his back, as if entirely unconcerned by his growing sexual frustration. By the end of the two weeks Nicias was away, he thought he was going to die from wanting to get fucked by Lian. He wanted to spend a night in Lian’s bed so much, instead of in his own tiny little room and his thin mattress. At least sleeping at Lian’s feet would be good? But Lian didn’t even seem to want that.

And when Nicias finally did come back, Lian looked the correct sort of pleased, and Kitten resented it utterly. He was relieved to get fucked, at least, but it was the end of little treats and being stroked gently like he was something precious.


	4. Chapter 4

Lian watched Kitten pressing his face against the glass and wondered exactly how bored the construct got in here. It was a good view, facing the station’s largest public park, containing one of the largest reservoirs of water cleverly disguised as a lake. The walkways were always swept, the flowerbeds always a riot of colour. Lian was sure that Kitten had never been there. The most outside Kitten could go was the balcony, but Lian had rarely seen him do even that.

Kitten started when he realised he was being watched. He smiled warily, trying to pre-emptively appease. Lian did not smile back, but that wasn’t a cause to worry. He had learned that Lian did not punish him for being annoying.

“Come here,” Lian said.

Kitten peeled away from the window and came to stand in front of Lian. He was obedient, but being called over with no clear purpose was always a little concerning. (If Nicias would have called him over like that, he would have guessed that Nicias wanted a blow job or to bend him over the back of the couch. But Lian seemed uninterested in sex with him.)

“Sit.”

Kitten gracefully sank down on the floor. Instead of kneeling, he settled cross-legged, as comfortable as he dared. He was not sure how long he would be staying there.

Lian picked up his pad and looked through the games until he found a simple puzzle-game. He was not entirely certain if Kitten was literate, so he had picked a game where the story was presented with animations and music. He locked other functions and then handed it down to the construct. “Play this.”

Kitten looked up at him for a moment, openly surprised, then down at the screen. He figured it out fast. The first few levels were too easy, but the storyline about a girl and a ship intrigued him, and he kept playing.

Lian half-worked, half-watched, gauging how Kitten was doing. Good, so far. Kitten was utterly absorbed. Lian had to snap his fingers in front of Kitten’s face when he wanted the pad back, and Kitten gave it up reluctantly. Lian checked the game’s assessment, finding most of the puzzles had not taken Kitten more than a few tries. A better result than he had expected. He glanced down at Kitten and found an adorably disappointed expression. This was the most mental stimulation the construct had got in weeks, Lian supposed. Giving a mind nothing to do was the cruellest thing that Nicias did.

“Do you want to finish it?” Lian asked.

Kitten chewed his lip for a moment, then nodded once. There was nothing to be lost by admitting this one small desire. The worst that could happen was that Lian wouldn’t give him anything.

“Use words,” Lian said. Nicias did not like his sex toys to speak, so Kitten barely ever did. It was starting to be inconvenient, and he needed to encourage this to change.

Kitten stared at him as if not sure what was even the correct thing to say. Very quietly, he said, “Yes, please. Sir.”

“Your accent is cute,” Lian said, mostly because he wanted to see if that might get a response. It was a common enough accent among the coalition conclaves, but Kitten had also picked up some of the cadences of Nicias’s speech, making it a little odd.

Kitten smiled very slightly, as if unsure what to do with that compliment but not wanting to do the wrong thing. He smiled wider, more genuinely, when Lian gave him the game again.

Lian filed away how both the smiles looked. Kitten was young, but not so young that he hadn’t learned compliments were things to be wary of. And on the other hand, he was not yet wise enough to weigh up an act of kindness. It made Lian feel ancient and cynical.

He got up to go make himself lunch, leaving Kitten to it. Then he did some work in the study, preparing the lecture he needed to give, and he made a call, because he was sure Kitten was too distracted to listen in. The connection was jagged, often lost, and there was a significant delay between each response. Lian thought the ship must be in the unreal from the interference, but he did not ask. Information that he did not have he could not betray. He missed the ship. He missed its crew. He missed sharing a bed with someone for nothing except pleasure. He finished the call before he became too nostalgic. He did not need to feel that as well.

A couple of hours later, Kitten slipped in through the half-open door and put down the pad on the desk. He hovered, as if trying to work out how to say something first, as if starting a conversation was an alien thing. “Thank you, sir,” he said eventually, barely audible.

“You’re welcome,” Lian answered, keeping his tone casual. That had worked even better than he had thought it would. Kitten had spoken to him without prompting!

Kitten hovered for a little while, looking at the study shelves, as if expecting an order. Nice things didn’t happen without payment being exacted. When that didn’t come, he retreated, confused but grateful.


	5. Chapter 5

When Lian got home, he dumped his bag in the hallway and went straight to the bathroom. He saw the low light spilling from the open doorway of Nicias’s bedroom, so he knew where he was sleeping tonight. He had thought Nicias would be back in the morning, but this was fine too. He washed and got ready for bed, and then wandered over to Nicias’s bed completely naked.

“If I knew you were back today, I’d have come home earlier,” Lian said, smiling easily at Nicias, then glancing at how Kitten lay by Nicias’s feet, limbs all relaxed and sated. Kitten’s eyes were open just a sliver, the iris looking gold in the gleam of the light. Kitten was always happy when Nicias was back after a trip. Nicias tended to be nice, and Kitten was horny when left alone for longer than a day.

“Where were you?” Nicias asked, mildly curious. He put his reading down and patted the bed next to himself.

“I went out with the department,” Lian said. “We had to have a collective cry about how stupid the undergraduates are.” He got into the bed and leaned in to give Nicias a kiss. “How was your thing?”

“Oh, you know. The usual. They only tried to bribe me twice.”

Lian laughed. “Who was it this time?” 

“One was one of those authoritarian regimes with a planet. They want someone for their weapons manufacturing program. They offered me a post if I fancy betraying everything and _joining_ them.”

Lian smiled at the contempt in Nicias’s voice. Nicias was a spacer through and through. Living with the gravity of a rock was some sort of insult. “And what was the other attempt?”

“It was so weird, you have no idea. An appointment just showed up in my schedule and at that time this machinist turns up wearing… I don’t think she was wearing anything, to be honest. I think the armour plating was a part of her skin.”

“Huh,” Lian said, appropriately surprised at the story.

“All she wanted was an encryption key in exchange for their eternal gratitude.”

“Huuh,” Lian said. If he asked Nicias more questions, he was sure he could identify the conclave this person would have represented. But who Lian was wouldn’t ask those sorts of questions. “That sounds like the start of some sort of bad movie. You sure it wasn’t some sort of prank?”

Nicias laughed. “No, it’s probably one of those old and weird conclaves.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t decide to run off to become a machinist,” Lian said, yawning. There were many people who would have taken that deal. The gratitude of the correct conclave would have given someone like Nicias a lab without a budget and all the engineers he could possibly have wanted. But Nicias was too patriotic. It was unfortunate. Everything would have been easier if Nicias was a little more flexible.

“I guess you had your fun with him?” Lian asked, to change the subject, poking Kitten with a foot. Kitten twitched, but did no more than that. Unless someone gave him orders, he would simply stay there, hoping someone would pet him. Lian understood that hunger for affection. Unlucky.

“I did,” Nicias answered. “He did tell me you treated him horribly.”

“Yeah?” Lian said. What _would_ Kitten have said? He was amazed that Nicias had asked Kitten a question. Nicias generally did not like it for Kitten to make any sound at all.

“You didn’t fuck him once.”

Lian laughed. Of course it was that. What else would Nicias be curious about? “Wow, what a shitty life he leads,” Lian joked. “Not getting fucked by me.”

“You don’t like him?” Nicias asked.

“Ah…” Lian said. “It’s just a bit weird. Feels a bit like… I don’t even know. I’m not used to having sex where I order someone around?” It was a common enough reason for not enjoying constructs like Kitten. It would do as an excuse. “And he’s way too quiet,” Lian added, unable to resist a little dig at Nicias.

Nicias mulled on that for a moment. Some of his previous boyfriends had also not liked Kitten. But he had not liked any of them nearly as much as he liked Lian. “I’ll get rid of him if he makes you feel uncomfortable,” he decided to offer, after a long silence.

Kitten froze in his place at the bottom of the bed, tension suddenly in his shoulders and his spine. Nicias might be cruel to him, but that was a known thing. Nicias not wanting him was a terrifying concept, when Nicias had the right to decide if he lived or died.

Lian snorted at the offer, as if he had noticed none of Kitten’s reaction. “No, that’s not necessary,” he replied with an easy sort of amusement. He poked Kitten with his foot again. “He’s not to my taste. But you like him, and I don’t really care what you do with him.”

“I think you should try fucking him. See how it feels,” Nicias said. “He’ll be very good for you.”

(Kitten wondered what it might be like to be very bad for someone. That was an interesting thought.)

“Maybe I’ll do it one day. When you’re away and I’m very lonely.” Lian shifted in to kiss Nicias. “But I’d like for him to go away now. Him watching us is _really_ weird.”

Kitten moved before Nicias could kick him onto the floor. That had happened often enough before.

“Close the door,” Nicias ordered, and Kitten did, quick to get out of the way.


	6. Chapter 6

Lian had been warned that the information he had passed would be acted on soon, so he was not surprised when he returned home to the evidence of Nicias’s rage. It was a little funny that none of the smashed things were Lian’s: Nicias always had a good degree of self-control, so when he smashed an antique vase, it was sure to be his property.

There was a note to Lian that Nicias had gone back to the lab, and that he would be back late. Unsurprising. Lian did not expect him back anytime soon. When his handler arranged for a mess, it was always a very big mess. An impressive skill. Lian checked and found that someone had already been scheduled to sort out the apartment the next morning. How considerate Nicias could be. For now, Lian decided to go to his rooms, which were bound to be entirely untouched. He would wait for Nicias to come back, and then be sympathetic and charming. Maybe poke out a little more information while Nicias was vulnerable.

It was not funny when Lian found Kitten curled up in a corner of his bedroom, dressed only in a shirt, soaked in blood from where the skin above his eyebrow had been broken by one of Nicias’s rings. He swore and Kitten flinched back, as if expecting to be hit more.

“Shush,” Lian said, crouching down to examine Kitten’s face. From the little flinches that he got as he probed, it was mostly bruising. The cut looked bad, but it was likely to heal well. “Ah,” he said, when he moved down and looked at the arm that Kitten had been trying to hide. The forearm was no longer straight.

“I think I need a doctor,” Kitten said, very quietly, afraid.

“Who does Nicias normally call?” Lian was quite certain that this was not the first time this had happened.

Kitten stared at him blankly. Or course Nicias called someone. But Kitten did not know their name nor how to contact them.

Lian swore again. Someone like Kitten was built to heal fast, and a displaced fracture would already be healing wrong. The longer it took to get treatment, the worse it would be to fix.

“Stay here, darling,” Lian said, gently touching an unbruised section of Kitten’s face.

Kitten nodded, placing absolute trust in Lian.

Lian got up, going to look through Nicias’s contact list. There were the contact details of a clinic, but it was already closed this late, and there was no emergency number. Lian considered giving Kitten a painkiller and leaving him until the morning, but that seemed cruel. He opened a link to the local network and started a more detailed search, until he found a clinic he thought would be safe. He double checked with his handlers – ignoring criticism that this was not his problem – and only then was he sure he could go.

First though, Kitten needed trousers. Lian went into Kitten’s room and quickly looked through the things. Most were skimpy and useless, but he found some loose trousers Kitten could wear out. There were no shoes. Lian found that so absurd he kicked the bed in anger. The damn thing even looked uncomfortable, narrow with a thin mattress. No wonder Kitten liked to have his naps absolutely anywhere else.

Lian found Kitten exactly where he’d left him, curled up miserably. “Can you put this on?”

Kitten chewed his lip, then took the trousers. Slowly he stood up, stiff. “Should I wash first, sir?”

“No. Who cares,” Lian said. He summoned a taxi while Kitten slowly pulled the trousers on. He found a pair of his flip flops and put them in front of Kitten.

“You can’t walk barefoot outside,” he said, when Kitten looked at him quizzically, and Kitten immediately slid his feet into them.

“Come,” Lian said, taking Kitten’s uninjured arm to lead him to the taxi. The AI already knew their destination and the car set off immediately. Kitten stared at the floor, too much in pain to have any interest in being outside. Or was he just afraid? That could be it too.

The clinic was quiet, just a single person on duty, with that deliberate type of androgyny that identified creations of traditionalist conclaves. They gave Lian a curious look, identifying that something was missing there, but choosing to say nothing, merely motioning for Lian to follow down a short, very clean corridor. In the examination room, Lian was surprised to see a little shrine in an alcove: the common arrangement of water, rock and moss that needed to be constantly tended. The machinist caught him looking, but nothing showed on their expression, as blank as a statue.

Lian watched Kitten as the machinist found the registration documents. They performed the required checks regarding ownership and who the permitted guardians were with a reassuring indifference. Lian read a certain distaste for Kitten, but it was nothing that would impact any treatment given.

“How fixed do you need this one?” the machinist asked Lian, now turning to Kitten.

“I need the broken bones set, at least,” Lian said. “And give him some pain relief.”

That machinist displayed a brief expression of surprise but checked Kitten’s specifications and found the right vials of drugs. There wasn’t a lot that would work with that sort of altered biology, and such chemicals were expensive. Most people wouldn’t bother. Kitten flinched at the needle, but a few seconds later he looked pleasantly zoned out.

“Good boy,” Lian said, helping Kitten onto the examination table. He helped Kitten peel the shirt off.

“What is your primary function?” the machinist asked, while checking Kitten’s torso for other injuries.

“What are you, fourth or fifth class engineer?” Lian asked in return, vaguely annoyed that he had managed to find one that would be both able to pick up his implants and ask stupid questions.

“Fifth, specialism in biological systems,” came the cool answer.

“Why are you working here?” Lian asked. A fifth class engineer with that sort of specialism could easily get work in any lab working with constructs. Working in a clinic as a doctor was an insult.

“I did not approve of the terms of the contract I was offered,” the machinist answered. “You can guess it does not leave many options.”

Lian made an appropriate sound of sympathy. With a human, he might have asked a name, but a machinist would not offer such a thing to a stranger they did not trust. It was correct to use rank or function to address a person, so he said, “Sorry to hear that, engineer.”

“Your employers can be assured of my discretion,” the machinist offered. Lian read the correct meaning: _I do not want trouble from whoever you work for_. Engineers were difficult to manipulate with manners.

“There is a an undisplaced fracture here,” the machinist continued, touching the bruises just under Kitten’s eye. “Don’t hit him in the face for a few days.”

“I didn’t do this.”

The machinist looked just disbelieving enough. Lian had already proven himself to be dishonest. They cleaned the blood off Kitten’s face and glued the skin above the eyebrow back together. “There is one hairline fracture to the ribs. Just leave it alone.”

Lian decided it was pointless to say he didn’t do it.

Kitten yelped despite the painkillers as the bones in his arm were reset, probably from feeling the bone move than any pain. A simple splint would hold it for long enough for the bones to knit back together over the next few days. The machinist examined the angle of the break and then looked at Lian again, assessing.

“See if there is any damage. Downstairs,” Lian said.

The examination was short, and the assessment decisive, “This will heal on its own.”

“Where is the tracking chip?” Lian asked.

“It is embedded in the pelvis,” the machinist answered, giving Lian a sidelong look. “Difficult to remove. I am required to advise you that it is against the law to tamper with the security hardware. Is there anything else you need?”

The emphasis on ‘you’ made it clear to Lian that he was being asked whether he needed to have his implants poked. “No.”

“Do you require an itemised bill?”

“Sure, but can you keep the painkillers off it?” Lian did not want Nicias to think he had been nice. “And can I have a couple more doses?”

The machinist shrugged. There was a hint of amusement as Lian asked for the bill to be sent to Kitten’s owner. Lian paid for the painkillers himself, pocketing the spare doses. He helped Kitten put the clothes back on. Kitten was quiet for the whole ride back, and he shivered uncontrollably when Lian led him back into the apartment.

It didn’t take long for Lian to realise that he could not leave Kitten alone. Kitten couldn’t clean himself up on his own, and while Lian helped, he found Kitten’s reactions a little odd – and when he wrapped Kitten in a towel he realised that it was some sort of mix of embarrassment and humiliation. Lian supposed that even Kitten had to have some pride.

Lian gave another dose of the drugs when Kitten started getting restless. He gently led Kitten to his own bed and tucked him in, and then lay down too.

“I don’t want it,” Kitten said, fuzzily trying to pull away.

High out of his mind, Lian thought. He had given Kitten a little too much. “Shh, I won’t hurt you. You’re just sleeping here. Nothing else.”

“I don’t know why he was so angry,” Kitten said, sounding half asleep.

“It wasn’t your fault, darling,” Lian assured, not sure that Kitten would even remember this.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Kitten said, mournful.

“I know you didn’t,” Lian assured. “You’ll be fine.” He gave other little nothings until he was sure Kitten was asleep, plagued by a vague sense of guilt.


	7. Chapter 7

In the morning, staff had already arrived to clean up the apartment. Lian could hear them moving around, trying to stay unobtrusive. Kitten woke as soon as soon as Lian moved and let out a miserable little groan.

“Shhh,” Lian said, stroking a section of Kitten’s neck that wasn’t bruised. The swelling on his face was bad, but it would go down quickly. “You’re okay,” he added, checking his messages. There was a nice one from Nicias apologising for leaving a mess and not to expect him for dinner. Lian could give Kitten more painkillers, then. There would be no one here to judge.

Only when Kitten was back in a drugged sleep did Lian get out of bed, putting on some trousers just in case anyone was still working. But the staff were already done. Everything broken had been cleared away. There was a different antique vase in the hallway. A new arrangement of fragrant flowers was in the living room. He looked into Nicias’s room and saw that the bed was freshly made. It was a little surreal. How many people could live in luxury like this? Nicias’s very human staff were very competent, and a wonderful marker of both status and ideology. Lian was sure some of them were spies, and that some were secret police. He was always very careful with them.

In the kitchen, an elaborate breakfast had been prepared for him. All the plates were new and a beautiful hand-painted porcelain. They could have easily gone into a museum instead, as examples of the artist’s work. Lian examined them as he ate, looking at the beautiful stylised designs of a planetary system he wasn’t familiar with.

No one had prepared any food for Kitten, but today Kitten was in no state to feed himself. With the bruising on Kitten’s jaw, chewing would hurt, so Lian left none of his own food for him. Instead he prepared a rice porridge, adding in chopped mushrooms and algae and pinches of salt and spices in the classic recipe of spacefarers everywhere.

He nudged Kitten awake, then into sitting up. Kitten seemed just awake enough to use cutlery, so Lian gave him the spoon. He was far better already than a human would have been, but that didn’t make it good, either. Kitten did not have the modifications to suppress pain, and none of the military-grade self-repair mechanisms. It would take a day or so before Kitten was going to move again.

“I am going to make a call. Eat that,” Lian said.

Kitten made a tiny nod to show that he understood.

Lian left him to it, shutting himself in the study. First he tried calling Nicias, because a concerned boyfriend would, but Nicias did not answer. That was entirely expected. Nicias’s lab did not allow personal calls, even for the boss. Next he checked the security and made a call to his handler, voice only, high encryption.

“Lian. Your visit to the clinic was unwise.”

“Don’t you chide me,” Lian answered easily. There was no delay in the connection. It had to be going to somewhere within the station or very close near it. “He’ll ask me two questions and then forget about it. He thinks I’m soft anyway. He’ll just think I’m spoiling his pet. Your end went well?”

“Yes. You were correct. The technology they are working on is not human.”

Lian wondered what agent they had sent to breach the lab security. He could not ask, because he could not betray a secret he did not know. “Told you.”

There was not much else to say. This call was simply to prove everything was fine. Lian knew his job, and knew that it would not be over anytime soon. There was a long pause. “Do not get attached to the pet. If things do not go well-”

Lian sighed and interrupted, “I know, I know.”

“We know what you are like.”

“I’m glad you are well,” Lian said. He had needed to be sure. “I’ll call again if I need something.” He closed the connection, then gave Nicias another missed call, and a message that he wanted to know if Nicias was fine.

It was time to check on Kitten again. Lian found he had eaten only half of the porridge. “Feeling sick?”

“No, sir,” Kitten answered.

“Don’t lie to me, Kitten,” Lian said, finding it remarkably easy to tell. Kitten was young and inexperienced at subterfuge, and Lian was far too well trained.

Kitten flinched. He looked both worried and puzzled.

“How are you feeling?” Lian asked.

“Weird,” Kitten said, after frowning for a while, trying to figure it out. “I don’t know why,” he admitted.

“I gave you something so you could sleep. It’s the drugs,” Lian said.

Kitten frowned slightly.

“Do you want another dose?”

“No, sir,” Kitten said. “Thank you, sir,” he just about remembered to add. He did not like how difficult it was to think while whatever Lian had given him was in his system.

“It will pass soon,” Lian said, catching Kitten’s expression.

Kitten chewed his lip for a long time, steeling himself up to something while Lian got dressed for work. In the end, after hyping himself up for so long, all that Kitten said was, so quietly Lian could have easily pretended to hear nothing, “When will he be back?”

“Not until very late,” Lian answered. “Don’t you worry. I’ll want to fuck him then.”

“Oh,” Kitten answered. Lian got him so easily.

“You can stay in my bed for now. Eat a bit more when you feel better, and wash when you can,” Lian instructed. “I will be back in a few hours. You’ll be good for me, won’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” Kitten answered. He could do the things he was told to do. They were very clear and very easy. What a relief.


	8. Chapter 8

Nicias returned in the early hours of the morning. Lian woke up instantly, and so did Kitten, abruptly awake and alert and alarmed at being somewhere he shouldn’t be. Lian patted Kitten’s back, told him to stay where he was, and went to meet Nicias in the corridor.

“You’re back,” Lian said, making sure to both look pleased and to yawn. He heard movement from behind him. Kitten trying to spy. Lian didn’t want Kitten to get caught and get another beating while the broken bones were still healing, so he continued talking to cover it, “What happened? I was worried about you.”

Nicias looked like he had to think about it for a while before he decided to answer. He kissed Lian first, then he said, “There was a security breach in the lab.”

“Was it very bad?” Lian asked, feeling absurdly gleeful that Nicias had just told him. None of that showed on his face.

“Yes,” Nicias answered, tired and worn. He looked like he had been working non-stop for hours.

Lian frowned sympathetically. “Do you want to eat?”

“I could eat.”

Lian smiled slightly and tugged Nicias to the kitchen. There were plenty of leftovers from dinner. He took out some sort of filled pasta and put it to reheat. He brewed Nicias a fresh cup of tea, adding the little pinches of spices he believed were essential and Nicias was indifferent to. He placed everything in front of Nicias on the table and sat down opposite, silent but companionable.

Only after Nicias ate, did he say, “Someone broke into the lab, stole a number of classified files, and left a virus in the system. There’s five dead guards and no surveillance footage. Like a fucking ghost went through, stabbed everyone it met, and walked back out.”

Lian looked exactly the appropriate amount of concerned. He was not meant to know much about Nicias’s work, or even if he knew, to understand it. But he was still meant to worry if things were going well for his boyfriend, so he asked, “Is… your project still okay?”

“Yes, but it’s a mess, we have to find where the security breach originated, and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Nicias said. He needed to talk. “Then the virus wrecked so much of the data, and a couple of our programmers are now in hospital. Their implants are corrupted. We’re not even sure they will recover.”

“Shit,” Lian said, frowning and sympathetic and thinking that was bound to set the project timeline back. Good. He wondered if he could guess which agent had done that. Better not to think about that too much, just in case everything went wrong.

“It’s very serious. We’ll have to tighten security everywhere. There’ll even be a security review on this place. Sorry about that. Just… Eat breakfast out tomorrow and you won’t even see them. Let me know if they damage anything of yours and I’ll make sure they get reassigned to guarding a mining depot on an asteroid.”

“They have to look here? Really?” Lian sounded disbelieving. This was good to know, though. He would make sure to move a few items.

“It won’t come to anything, I know, but you know how it is.”

“Yeah, I guess… Do you know who did it?” Lian asked, curious to hear what Nicias thought.

“Fuck knows. Has to be someone very high tech,” Nicias said. “The more rumours there are about what we’re doing here, the more idiots want to know about it. This was far more competent than any of the usual attempts, and the skillset required is very rare. It must be _some_ conclave. I’m sure the investigation will dig something up. However good they are, they can’t have left no trace.”

Lian sighed quietly. “I was really worried, you know. I thought something had happened to you.”

“What was that bill about?” Nicias asked, looking at Lian.

“Oh, it’s stupid. I was annoyed at you for not telling me what happened, so I sent it to you,” Lian answered.

“Why did you go _there_?” There were better clinics to go to.

“It was the first clinic I found that was open. I, ah. Well. It’s embarrassing. He was bleeding and his arm was broken badly, so I thought I should deal with it,” Lian said, having already thought about the exact mix of awkward and defensive he should be when asked that question. He hoped that Kitten was back in bed.

“You should have just left it,” Nicias said. One of the staff would have taken care of Kitten if Lian hadn’t.

“I thought it was cruel to leave him like that,” Lian answered, a little defensive. “He was obviously in pain. What was I meant to do, tell him to go to his room?”

“You’re really soft about some things, you know that?”

“Just because you had a shit time of work doesn’t give you the right to come here and criticise me,” Lian said, sharp. “I know that you don’t think he’s a person, but he can definitely feel pain and it confuses him when he thinks you’re punishing him for nothing. I don’t care that you think it doesn’t matter. It’s unpleasant for me to see him like that.”

Nicias looked slightly taken aback, but Lian had measured this well – he did not look angry. He looked exhausted instead. He sighed. “Look, I don’t want to argue about this with you right now. Can you just… Come to bed with me?”

Lian smiled slightly. “Yes, I will. You know I will.”

He let Nicias kiss him, the perfect image of a man letting something annoying go for the sake of a more important thing. “You need to shower first, though. You stink.”

Nicias huffed, but he was dutiful enough to go to the bathroom first while Lian got into his bed. It was just enough time for Lian to check Nicias’s messages, memorise what he thought was important, and then artfully arrange himself on the mattress. It turned out that Nicias wanted nothing except to sleep, but Lian knew the offer was appreciated anyway. He let Nicias hold him close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you leaving kudos and comments are making my day. (:
> 
> I updated the chapter count again because I can't fucking count.


	9. Chapter 9

The officers that came to check every section of the apartment were careful with both Lian and Nicias’s things, but when they turned Kitten’s room upside down, they simply tossed everything to the floor. Kitten knew better than to do anything except clean it all up, putting the mattress and the bedding back into place, folding the clothes and returning them to the cupboard, putting his toiletries and the grooming tools back on the shelves. It didn’t take him very long. The room was very small and he did not have many things. None of them had been chosen by him. He wasn’t even sure what he would like to have if he could choose.

Once, very carefully, he had gone through Lian’s things when the apartment was empty, and he had found it strange. Nicias had many things. Nicias _liked_ things. Decorations, keepsakes, clothes, him, potted plants, fancy china, furniture made from wood from impossibly far away, antique weapons. Lian did not seem to own many things at all, in comparison.

Lian had only arrived with a few boxes, and a good portion of that had been clothing. Kitten had liked it. Lian preferred airy fabrics and loose-fitting things in deep colours. Secretly, Kitten had tried some of the clothes on, but he had been too worried about getting caught to enjoy it. They were all too large anyway. Lian was too tall.

He had looked through the small selection of jewellery that Lian owned, mostly earrings for the multiple piercings in his ears. It was an eclectic collection of different metals and stones that Lian always somehow looked perfectly matched. There were some rings, too, and a bracelet that looked like it was a black ceramic. There was a necklace with a pendant made from bone, just a simple shard polished smooth. Kitten realised months later that it was the only thing that he had never seen Lian wear.

He didn’t even know how to start getting into Lian’s computers (and wouldn’t have known what to do with them even if he could), but he had leafed through the books in the study, printed on cheap, thin paper. All the paper that was used on the station was like that. The books were dense with text, far beyond his meagre knowledge. There had been a knife, too, hidden in one of the books, like a bookmark. Kitten had put it back very carefully. It was not like the kitchen knives, all function without beauty. Kitten had been sure it was more closely related to the weapons that Nicias kept behind glass.

Maybe the knife was the thing he would like to have. He did not know what he would do with it. What good would having it even do? Kitten wondered what the officers had thought about it when they had gone through the study. Probably nothing. Maybe they saw a lot of knives. He did not know much of anything that happened outside the apartment.

Some weird urge made him go see whether the knife was still in the same place. He stepped out of his room, listening carefully – Lian and Nicias were in the living room, talking too quietly to listen in. Lian’s study was just down the corridor, door left open. A simulation of something was running on one screen. Kitten glanced at the graphs, but the lines were nothing except collections of coloured lines to him. The books were all in their usual places. Kitten flicked through each one, but there was nothing there. It was an abrupt disappointment, and he checked each one again. Frowning slightly, he decided to see if it was maybe in the drawers of the desk?

“What are you doing?” Lian asked mildly.

Kitten froze. He had absolutely no excuse. He couldn’t even think of what to say. He looked blankly at Lian, leaning against the doorframe so casually. He tried smiling. How had Lian got there so quietly?

“What are you looking for?”

“Nothing, sir,” Kitten answered, cautious and quiet. He wanted to run. Running was not what he got to do.

“Oh, well,” Lian said, with the smallest of shrugs. “I could always tell you were a nosy little shit.”

Kitten blinked. Did Lian sound amused? This was not the sort of tone that led to punishment.

“You don’t have to worry. I don’t really care,” Lian said. “Someone should really give you something more interesting to look at.”

Kitten stared at Lian in silence, not sure what he was meant to do now. If Lian didn’t care, then what? He was worrying anyway.

“Shoo,” Lian said.

That was clearer. Kitten vacated the room quickly, making sure not to touch Lian as he passed through the doorway. It was almost like Lian understood how he was feeling. That thought left him uneasy.

Kitten was on edge for a day, but nothing happened, and then nothing happened the day after, and he just couldn’t remain tense for that long. He still jumped when Lian found him in the kitchen and ordered him to come. He followed Lian to the balcony.

“Nicias told me I’m not allowed to have them in the apartment because he thinks they’re annoying, but…” Lian stopped, smiling slightly when he realised that Kitten was staring in fascination at the birds in the cage. He snapped his fingers in front of Kitten’s face to get his attention back. “I will tell you what you need to do. You can ask me again if you forget.”

Kitten chewed his lip, worried that he was not going to remember what Lian wanted him to do, but it was not that complicated, just the food and the water every day. Apparently indifferent to Kitten’s reaction, Lian left him there, and Kitten knelt in front of the cage to watch the birds hop from perch to perch, chirping to each other, fascinated by something so alive and so bright. They were tiny little things, as genetically engineered as he was to be pretty, some with feathers in golds and reds and some in shades of green and blue he didn’t have words for. He wondered if they were as soft and as fragile as they looked. He wondered why Lian had bought them.


	10. Chapter 10

Lian made a lot of calls when he worked at home, most of them were to his students or to his friends. Lian’s life was fascinating. He seemed to have a lot of friends, and he talked to his students very carefully even when he seemed to think they were being exceedingly stupid. Kitten eavesdropped whenever he could get away with it, which seemed to be most of the time. He was very quiet, and sometimes Lian didn’t hear him, and sometimes Lian didn’t care. This time, the call was strange enough that Kitten was sure he wasn’t meant to hear. He stopped in the corridor and listened, head slightly cocked, frowning.

“­-- need to be careful. You need to stop playing games and finish here.”

Kitten had heard that voice before, but never such a serious tone. He did not know who it belonged to.

“I am not playing games. He’s paranoid and this is difficult,” Lian answered, sounding annoyed. “It looks like he might ask me to marry him, but he’ll never tell me what he’s working on. I can’t sit in his study and get into his files either. Unauthorised access would be flagged. And I think most of the important files are in the lab. I have no access to those at all. Every time I’ve come to visit him for lunch, we went to a restaurant elsewhere.”

There was a silence. “Do you require assistance?”

“No, but-” Lian stopped talking. He sighed deeply.

Kitten wondered what ‘assistance’ meant. It was clear Lian thought that was a bad thing.

Lian continued, “Things are not good here. Politically. We must either not be seen at all, or make a decisive gesture.”

“We understand,” was the reply. “Is it possible that you could recruit-?”

Lian laughed. “No. Absolutely not. He believes in the system here. He would think you’re an abomination that needs to be destroyed.”

 _What_ was Lian talking to, Kitten wondered. Something not human? He did not know enough to be able to guess.

“We see. This does not come as a surprise to us. I suppose for now you have to continue. What will you do if he asks you to marry him?”

“Say yes, of course. You can provide me with a couple of relatives for a wedding, right?” Lian said, sounding like he was joking.

“Of course.”

“I am wondering if we should leak the data that we have…”

“That would compromise you. We value you too much to risk your life.”

Kitten must have made some noise, because Lian said abruptly, “I’ll talk to you later,” then cut the connection and got up, walking decisively to the door.

Kitten took a step back, but Lian caught his wrist, not pulling, but not letting him go anywhere. Kitten’s stomach dropped. He had really fucked this up.

“What were you doing?” Lian asked.

When Kitten tried to look away, Lian took hold of his hair and pulled until Kitten had to look. Lian’s eyes gave away nothing, and somehow that was the thing that made him want to run. He tried to jerk back by reflex, as afraid as any small thing caught in a trap, but Lian’s grip was unyielding as he waited for an answer. Kitten had never realised he was that strong. “Nothing, sir,” he tried. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“How would you know there was something to hear if you didn’t hear anything?” Lian asked. Was he amused, or was Kitten imagining things?

Kitten bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. “I’m sorry.” Maybe that would work.

“Oh, come on,” Lian said. Kitten was not sorry. Kitten was afraid, and it was so obvious. Lian did not feel like being kind. “You’re just saying that because you’re trying to work out what the right thing to say is for me not to hurt you. If you have something to say to me, say something useful.”

Kitten stared at Lian’s face for many long seconds. There was something unreadable there. Lian was angry, but something else too. Kitten did not understand it. He needed to say something.

“I knew already,” Kitten said, very, very quiet, feeling hollow.

“Knew what?” Lian asked, patiently.

“That you are. Stealing things,” Kitten said.

“How did you work it out?” Lian asked.

“You don’t. Like him. Not much,” Kitten said, trying to look away again. Lian waited for more, so Kitten was forced to continue, “I thought you had to want something. So I wondered what.”

“Aren’t you a clever boy,” Lian said.

No one ever called Kitten clever. He chewed his lip, worrying at the spot where he had bitten through the skin.

“What are you going to do about it?” Lian asked.

Kitten couldn’t stop a hysterical giggle. What could he do about it? He stopped laughing only when Lian backhanded him. It was not as hard as Nicias sometimes hit him, but it was hard enough to bruise.

“Answer me.”

“Nothing, sir,” Kitten said. He wanted to laugh again. “No one would believe me.” But there was another thing too, that made him not even want to try anything, “And. You’re nice to me.” It sounded like a pathetic reason to do anything.

Lian looked at Kitten for a few long seconds, then let go. “Go to your room.”

Kitten licked at the blood in his mouth, finally able to stop looking at Lian. “Could I… Go to the balcony?” he asked, for once trying his luck.

“Fine,” Lian said. He did not actually care where Kitten went. He just wanted Kitten as far away from him as possible.

“Thank you, sir,” Kitten said, relieved. Being hit in the face once and being told to go away did not even count as punishment. He fled before Lian could decide to do something else instead.


	11. Chapter 11

Nicias asked what Kitten had done to annoy Lian, and Lian only said that Kitten had got in his way. The idea that Kitten was just something that a person would take their temper out on was so perfectly acceptable to Nicias that he asked for nothing else, just kissed Lian’s cheek and left him alone to be grumpy. (Nicias did not, of course, ask Kitten about anything, just idly poked the bruise on his face, to see how much Kitten would twitch.)

Sometimes Lian needed space, so he slept alone, and Kitten ended up in Nicias’s bed after dinner. It always felt good when Nicias fucked him. Kitten arched his back and buried his face into the mattress, stifling as many of his moans as possible. Nicias’s grip was rough enough that Kitten knew it would leave bruises on his hips, but in the moment the pain felt good too. He rocked back on Nicias’s dick with more than the usual amount of enthusiasm, and he knew it was appreciated, because after Nicias was done, he got to keep lying in bed, Nicias’s hand absently stroking his side.

Kitten tried not to fall asleep, but he couldn’t stay awake long. His biology demanded it. But that wasn’t punished either. Nicias was in the habit now of sleeping with someone, and if he couldn’t have Lian, then Kitten made a suitable enough placeholder. The only consequence was that he got fucked in the morning too, before Nicias went to get dressed and ready for work.

Left alone in Nicias’s bed, Kitten dozed until the cleaner came to change the sheets, and then he got up, going to his room to wash and put on some clothes. He found that Lian was out too, which was a relief. He fed the birds, then watched them flitting around the cage for hours. He had the absurd urge to leave the cage open, to let them fly away. Would Lian punish that? Probably not. Lian never punished him, and that was even worse.

In the evening, Lian and Nicias ate dinner together, as usual, and Kitten waited until they were done and in the bedroom to pick over the leftovers for anything interesting. They were both wrapped up in each other, as if everything was normal. Nothing was normal. There would be consequences from how Lian caught him. Kitten just didn’t know how or when.

Kitten considered misbehaving, like he did when he thought that Nicias was too tense. That always worked well with Nicias: he would drop something, or touch something he shouldn’t, or be insufficiently engaged in sex, and Nicias would take his temper out on him, heading off a bigger explosion later. Or maybe he should offer a show of affection or appear naked and eager to try to sweeten Lian up? It worked on Nicias, often enough.

Kitten had never thought about how much work he did and how much influence he could have on Nicias’s moods until he realised that none of it would work on Lian. He had always understood Nicias’s motivations. He had always understood his purpose. He had always understood that actions have consequences, and those consequences always came quickly. Nicias even liked him, in a limited way. No one had ever taught him to expect more than that.

Did Lian like him at all? He had assumed so, because Lian gave him treats and sometimes petted him and given him games and had taken him to the clinic and had bought the birds. But at other times, Lian could be as inscrutable as a wall, impossible to read. Kitten realised that he had never been as afraid in his life as in that moment when Lian had called him clever.

He had thought he knew what fear was like. He had worried, at the training facility, before Nicias had bought him. It felt like forever ago. He had hoped it would be someone nice. He had been anxious it would be someone very cruel. It was never hidden from them that some of their owners might have those sorts of tastes. When he had arrived at the apartment, he had been afraid of everything and everyone, but he had learned where the limits were, that Nicias’s cruelty did not run very deep and was easily satisfied. He had thought that the limited fear of pain and injury was all that there was.

But now that Lian looked at him with that cool assessing gaze, he felt sick in his stomach. He wanted to beg for _something_. He didn’t know what Lian wanted. He didn’t know what Lian was really doing. He didn’t know what Lian was waiting for. The anxiety did not abate with time, spreading through his chest until sometimes, when it was just Lian in the apartment, he thought he could barely breathe.

 _Obviously_ Lian was waiting for Nicias to be away again. Kitten felt like an idiot when only hours after Nicias had packed a bag and left for some conference, Lian came to find him. He was sitting on the balcony, on the ground, looking at the birds, when Lian came and settled in one of the chairs.

Kitten felt like his blood had been turned to ice. He wouldn’t have been able to move even if he wanted to. He took shallow little breaths that didn’t feel like they gave him enough air.

“Darling, I’m not going to hurt you,” Lian said, very gently. “But we need to talk about why that is. Come here.”

Kitten got up immediately. He turned and took two shaky steps to be in front of Lian. Without being asked, he collapsed onto his knees and pressed his face against Lian’s knee. He relaxed only when Lian started to stroke his hair.

“I should really kill you,” Lian stated, and Kitten felt his heart race. “No, don’t be like that. I said I won’t hurt you.” Though hurting and killing were not the same things at all. Lian stroked Kitten’s jaw. “If I, say, set it up so it looked like you killed yourself, he’d be sad for about an hour and then suggest that I go pick a new pet with him. It wouldn’t really help me.”

None of that was a question, so Kitten said nothing. Lian’s tone was reassuring, somehow, and his breathing slowed again. His muscles loosened until he was leaning against Lian’s leg.

“What do you think I am doing?” Lian asked. He needed to know what Kitten knew.

Kitten breathed in slowly, and let it out again. “You’re. Stealing things about his work. And giving them to someone.”

“Why am I doing that?”

“I don’t know those things,” Kitten said, hoping that was an acceptable answer.

“That’s alright,” Lian answered, still stroking Kitten’s hair. This was a better approach than last time. “You’re not going to give me away, are you?”

“No, sir,” Kitten said, staring at Lian’s feet.

“I know, darling,” Lian said. “Is there anything you want to ask me?”

Kitten chewed his lip, thinking of all the things he could ask. Who Lian really was. Who he was sending information to. Why this was important. But all of those things were fundamentally useless to him. Knowing them would change nothing, and he didn’t even know if Lian would tell him the truth. “Why don’t you fuck me?”

Lian laughed. “That’s what you want to know?”

Kitten frowned. He did want to know that. He didn’t like the way Lian had laughed at him.

“Do you _want_ me to fuck you?” Lian asked.

Kitten looked up, wanting to know what was on Lian’s face. Nothing harsh. “Yes, sir.”

“You don’t want a lot of things, do you?” Lian asked.

What was even the answer to that question? “No, sir,” Kitten said, cautiously.

“Alright, Kitten,” Lian said. “If you really want to have sex with me, come to my room tonight. If you don’t, then don’t. Nothing will happen if you don’t. You need to think about all the things I said and choose.” He gave Kitten’s face a little pat. “I’m going to go out now. You’ll be fine?”

“Yes, sir,” Kitten said, pulling back far enough not to be in the way when Lian got up. He settled on his heels to watch Lian go, feeling no less confused, but a little less afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you who leave comments and kudos warm my cold little heart. <3


	12. Chapter 12

While Lian was gone, Kitten restlessly paced the apartment, unable to stay still. He skipped lunch, and ate an early dinner instead. He worried. He showered, wanting to be sure he was clean. He paced. He showered again, to be completely certain that he was going to be clean, even though logically he knew that he had already been clean.

He wondered why Lian had went straight to promising not to kill him. That was a strange thing to promise, but he realised he had been afraid that Lian would simply get rid of him. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to think it in those words, but it would be a neat end to Lian’s particular problem. (Why was he thinking such grim thoughts?)

He realised that Lian had never answered his question. He still didn’t know why Lian did not want to fuck him. It was very strange. He recalled that when Nicias had asked Lian about it, Lian had lied for some reason. Why? But clearly the idea was not that distasteful, because he did have a choice to make tonight. He would go. It was the only thing to do, really. He was too curious not to. He wanted to know what it was like to be with Lian too much. 

When he heard Lian come home, in the evening, he retreated to his room. He didn’t know how to get ready. Would Lian want him to wear something specific? Probably not. So he settled with making sure he was clean and lubed up and stretched out so he was sure that even if Lian was rough, it wouldn’t hurt. But Lian had promised not to hurt him? Or did he? Kitten couldn’t be sure.

With three fingers up his own ass, he wondered whether he really should be doing this. Lian had offered him nothing. But he wanted it. He wanted it. He pressed his forehead against the wall, not even sure why he wanted it so much. Because Lian was something so very different? Because that little knot of fear inside him was the most interesting thing he had felt for such a long time? Because he now had something to spend hours and hours thinking about when before the best he could do was endure the time while he was alone?

He went to Lian’s door. His first knock was so light that he had to knock again, a little harder.

“Come in,” Lian said. He glanced at Kitten and did not exactly look pleased. “You can take that off and get into bed. I still need to shower.”

Kitten pondered Lian’s expression as he did what he was told. He had worn the wrong clothes. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn any clothes and just turned up naked. He settled on top of the covers, lying down on his back. Was it doubt that he had seen on Lian’s face? That couldn’t be right. There were other things to think about, though. Just the anticipation was getting him hard, and he chewed his lip as he waited, listening to the faint sound of running water.

Lian took far too long. He left the bathroom naked, still damp and warm from the shower and sat down on the bed next to Kitten. For a moment he seemed pensive, studying Kitten’s face, as if not sure he shouldn’t toss the construct out.

“I’ve fucked others of your kind before,” Lian said, reaching over to touch Kitten’s face, gentle. They had been more free, and understood more of what he was. This would not be like that.

Kitten studied Lian warily. Did that require a response?

“I’ve met those that saw right through me the first time they met me,” Lian added, tracing his fingers down along Kitten’s jaw and neck. He placed his hand over Kitten’s throat, as if pondering how easy it would be to squeeze. “How long did it take you to realise what I’m doing?” he asked, his hand moving on to lightly touch a bruise on Kitten’s shoulder.

“I don’t know?” Kitten said, not sure how to even begin to answer. His sense of time was hazy, at best.

Lian smiled and pinched one of Kitten’s nipples. He seemed pleased when Kitten gasped. “Have you worked out what I am yet?”

Kitten blinked. That was a really strange question, and very hard to answer when Lian chose to squeeze Kitten’s cock, already hard.

“Guess not,” Lian said. Kitten seemed not even know what the question referred to. “Move up.”

Kitten moved to the middle of the bed and spread his legs, wanting for Lian to touch. Lian’s fingers traced over his cock, then balls, then down, to find a little slickness of the lube around his hole. Kitten had no idea why Lian seemed to find that funny. He arched as Lian pressed two fingers inside, touching him just right to send heat sparking all the way through him.

Lian studied him with a critical eye. “You really do like this, don’t you?”

It didn’t actually sound like a question, so all that Kitten did was try to squirm down onto Lian’s fingers. It felt good to be filled up. He wanted a move on, not a weird conversation. Lian snorted. Kitten found he kind of liked it when Lian found him funny like that. He bit his lip and looked at Lian, not daring to touch Lian back. Should he? He didn’t really know what Lian liked. The few times that he had seen Lian fuck Nicias had been a kind of performance, after all.

Lian did not ask what Kitten wanted. He bent down and simply took the head of Kitten’s dick in his mouth, and Kitten gasped, eyes wide open. Lian’s mouth was so hot and wet and Lian really knew what to do with his tongue. Kitten tried putting a hand over his mouth, not wanting to make a sound, but Lian caught it immediately and pinned it to the bed. Kitten didn’t try that again. He let himself groan as Lian’s tongue pressed against the slit of his cock. Did Lian do that to Nicias? No wonder Nicias wanted it so often. He stopped thinking when Lian swallowed him down all the way, practised and effortless and so so good. When Lian hummed and pressed his fingers deeper, Kitten didn’t last long, coming with a strangled moan. It was too much.

Lian swallowed, not minding that Kitten didn’t warn him. Someone else might have punished Kitten for that, but Lian just thought was pretty funny how short it had been. He doubted Kitten’s cock got much attention from Nicias. He patted Kitten’s side to show he didn’t mind. “Anyone ever do that for you?” he asked, slowly pulling his fingers out.

Kitten was still trying to catch his breath. “Not. For a long time,” he admitted.

“Did you like that, hm?” Lian asked, wiping his mouth.

“Yes, sir,” Kitten answered. “Thank you.” He should be polite after something so good. He wondered if Lian would fuck him now. Lian’s cock was hard. He watched Lian half-wary, half-hopeful. He didn’t know how this would go, but he wanted more than what Lian had just given him.

Lian smiled, reaching into a drawer next to the bed and getting out lube. “Have you ever put your dick inside someone?” he asked.

“No, sir,” Kitten admitted.

“Stop calling me sir,” Lian said. “In bed you call me Lian.” He couldn’t give Kitten something better to call him, but this compromise would do.

“Yes, Lian,” Kitten answered.

“Good boy,” Lian said, straddling Kitten’s thighs. “Watch.”

“Oh,” Kitten said, simply staring as Lian fingered himself. Lian started with just one, then worked in the second swiftly, and the third a little slower. Just looking made Kitten get hard again. He had seen Lian naked before, but now he could actually admire how Lian’s slight frame was muscled just right, lean and graceful and strong. Cautiously, Kitten reached out and touched Lian’s hip, and Lian smiled in response, baring his teeth.

Exactly when he was ready, Lian moved up, taking hold of Kitten’s dick. He slicked it up and then lowered himself down, letting it fill him so very slowly. Kitten stopped breathing for that long moment, biting the inside of his mouth hard, not knowing what to do at all. Lian felt tight and hot and Kitten never wanted that feeling to end. He groaned when Lian rocked down on him. It seemed like his input was barely required, at least. This was a good thing, because Kitten was lost while Lian fucked himself with intent, tight around Kitten’s dick and his expression determined in a way that was both frightening and hot.

“I’ll come,” Kitten gasped, and Lian laughed.

“Touch me, then,” Lian said, taking Kitten’s hand. He spat into it and wrapped it around his dick. “Get me off. Then you can come.”

Kitten knew how to do that. He stroked Lian, spreading the slickness of precome along it, making the movements of his hand longer and more even as he felt Lian shudder. Having his own dick inside Lian was intensely motivating. He could think of absolutely nothing better than pleasing Lian.

“Fuck, you’re good,” Lian said, driving his hips down again as he shivered with pleasure. He closed his eyes, groaning quietly as he raised himself again, close now. Kitten touched his hip with a free hand, the touch light, but egging him on until he dropped down for the final time, gasping and clenching around Kitten’s dick as he came. He felt Kitten come too, with delicate little shudders as Lian’s orgasm tipped him over too.

“Aren’t you a good boy,” Lian said, raising himself off Kitten and lying down, feeling so pleasantly out of breath. He turned onto his side, stroking Kitten’s cheek. “Why do you look so confused?” he teased. “Wasn’t it good?”

“It was good, si- Lian,” Kitten assured quickly.

Lian snorted and rolled onto his back, stretching slowly. He knew Kitten could go again soon. Maybe he’d make that one good too. He pulled Kitten close. It was typical that Kitten tensed, and then relaxed as he was petted, settling against Lian’s side. After a while, he felt Kitten’s dick starting to go stiff again against his hip. Entirely predictable. Warmth and physical closeness would do that.

“You’re adorable,” Lian said, feeling Kitten try to shift to hide it. He moved his hip into it. “You can get yourself off.”

Kitten bit his lip and buried his face into Lian’s neck.

“Come on. You can do it,” Lian encouraged, and smiled when Kitten moved a fraction. “That’s it,” he reassured, as Kitten rubbed himself against Lian’s hip. It was fun to listen to Kitten’s breathing catch. “Want me to help you?”

“Yeah,” Kitten admitted, and whined when Lian wrapped his hand around Kitten’s dick.

Lian didn’t tease, getting Kitten off efficiently, knowing the psychological effect would be more important than what he actually did. “That’s it,” he said, when Kitten came onto his skin. He wiped his hand on the sheets, and held Kitten close, not even a hint of tension left anywhere.

“No, stay, Kitten,” Lian assured, when Kitten tried to move. He did not care that they were sticky and covered with come. He had spent nights covered with worse. “You can sleep with me tonight.”

Kitten settled again, putting his head on Lian’s shoulder. He felt good and a little sleepy, but the more time passed since his orgasm, the more thoughts he had again. He couldn’t fall asleep immediately, so he lay with his eyes half-closed, watching the lights slowly dim.

“Why didn’t you want to do this?” Kitten asked after a while, as Lian lazily stroked his flank.

Lian looked at Kitten, something amused in his gaze. “You don’t let things go when you think they’re important, huh?”

Kitten frowned.

“You’re adorable when you do that,” Lian said. “You never do it in front of him.”

Kitten frowned more. Of course he didn’t frown in front of Nicias. That was only sensible. He said nothing, wondering if Lian would ever answer, or if he would be left to hang forever.

“You’re too young for me,” Lian said finally, all wry amusement.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Kitten said.

Lian pressed his nose into Kitten’s hair and inhaled. He mulled something over for a long while before he said, “You’re not old enough to have chosen your own name.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Kitten said, after he realised that didn’t really made sense either. “I don’t get to choose what people call me.”

“I know,” Lian answered softly. “Go to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Tags Day.


	13. Chapter 13

When Nicias came back from his latest trip, Lian was on the couch, watching a film. Kitten was curled up, sleeping with his head in Lian’s lap. The film was boring to him: all about politics he had no knowledge of, and sections in it in a language he didn’t speak, and he had dozed off only ten minutes in. Lian thought that he was very cute as he slept.

“Hey, you,” Lian said, tilting his head for a kiss as Nicias came into the room.

Kitten stirred immediately and slid to the floor, giving the couch space to Nicias.

“What are you watching?” Nicias asked as he sat down. He patted Kitten’s hair and noted that it was Lian’s knee that Kitten chose to lean his head against.

“Oh, it’s a drama about the Second Colonial War,” Lian said, putting his hand on Nicias’s thigh. “Bit loose with the facts, but the plot is alright. Good trip?”

“Not bad,” Nicias said. “Everything’s back on track.”

“Have you eaten?” Lian asked.

“Yes. Why’s the brat all over you?”

“I took your suggestion and fucked him,” Lian said. “Now he’s in love with me, just like you were when I fucked you.”

Nicias laughed. “You _are_ very good at that.”

“Mhm,” Lian agreed. Fondly, he said, “Now shut up, I want to watch this.”

Nicias managed to be silent for the entirety of five minutes before he couldn’t take any more. “This is pure propaganda.”

Lian snorted. “Of course it is. Aren’t the films your side makes about this propaganda too?”

“ _My_ side?” Nicias asked. Lian lived here. This was his side too.

“Hey, my ancestors were entirely neutral,” Lian said.

“Your side sold resources to everyone,” Nicias said. Patriotism was a sore spot.

“How else do you stay neutral?” Lian said, always enjoying playing the part of a good citizen of Narrei. “As soon as you say you will sell to these people, but not to the others, you’ve picked a side. Anyway, I’m not watching this for fun. I’m going to make my students watch it.”

“Ah,” Nicias said. “How unfortunate for them.”

“To understand your enemy, you must know what they believe about you,” Lian said. “Wouldn’t you agree, the great general you are?”

Nicias snorted. Lian was teasing him now, so he leaned in to kiss Lian’s jaw, trying to be as distracting as possible. He kissed Lian’s neck, and nipped lightly in that way that made Lian squirm, sliding his hands underneath Lian’s clothes to touch skin, and he was rewarded with Lian’s laugher and kisses in return.

“Did you really fuck him?” Nicias asked, kissing Lian’s ear.

“Yes,” Lian said, rolling his eyes.

“I want to see you do it,” Nicias said. “I’ve never seen you fuck someone.”

“Seriously?” Lian asked. Was he really going to have to do this?

“I bet it’s really hot,” Nicias said. “He would love it too.”

Lian considered refusing, but he sighed instead, as if convinced to indulge Nicias’s whim. He was not sure that he liked it, but things were easiest if Nicias was happy. It was not like Kitten wouldn’t like it. Lian was not sure that it was physically possible for Kitten not to enjoy sex. “Your bed?” Lian asked. “I need a bed to show you how I fucked him.”

Kitten sneaked a curious look at Lian. Something told him that what was going to happen in a bed next was going to have very little resemblance to what happened in Lian’s bed over the last few days.

“We could,” Nicias said, smiling as he got what he wanted.

“Be a cutie and get yourself ready for me, hmm?” Lian said, prodding Kitten with his foot. “And be quick. Don’t wear anything.”

Kitten moved immediately.

“Now you’re spoiling him,” Nicias said, very amused. Kitten should have been prepared already.

“I don’t like hurting him, and I don’t like fingering him,” Lian said, with a little shrug. He could not be seen to be too considerate. “I’d rather kiss you right now,” he added, pulling Nicias in close. He stuck his hand into Nicias’s trousers. “The idea of watching me fuck your pet got you this hard, huh?”

Nicias laughed. “It does,” he admitted, shameless. “Why did you decide to do it?”

“I was a bit lonely and missed you,” Lian said, kissing Nicias’s face.

“Did you feel bad about it?” Nicias asked.

“Yes,” Lian said. That at least was an honest answer.

“Have you been spoiling him because of that?” Nicias asked.

“A bit, yeah,” Lian admitted. Feeding Kitten nice food and letting him nap on all the furniture was certainly better treatment than Nicias thought Kitten should get. “He’s adorable when he’s happy.” It took so little to make Kitten happy. Ice cream and an orgasm would do it for a day.

“That’s why I keep him,” Nicias said. “And because he’s horny basically all the time.”

“That’s just how he’s made, no?” Lian said, though he knew that was only part of it. The larger part was loneliness. “There he is.”

Kitten smiled. Lian knew enough about him to identify it as a defence mechanism.

Nicias looked Kitten over. All the bruises had healed and Lian had given him no new ones. “Where are you going to put him?”

Lian got up and took Kitten by the elbow, leading him to Nicias’s bedroom. Kitten needed only a single prompt to get onto the bed, resting his head and arms on the pillow and raising his ass. They had not actually done it in that position before, but Kitten was learning to read his cues.

“Lovely,” Lian said, stroking Kitten’s back. He smiled as Nicias moved the chair into the best position to watch. He knew what would turn on Nicias, and so did Kitten. This was a performance, and Kitten definitely knew how to perform.

“You like this, huh?” Lian asked, touching Kitten’s cock to make him squirm and gasp. That one thing was true. Kitten did like being touched, and he was inevitably going to enjoy this. Lian stripped, making sure to grin at Nicias so his boyfriend knew what he wanted to be the main course.

Kitten was quiet again with Nicias present, but he still liked being fucked, rocking back eagerly against Lian because he knew this was allowed. He came shuddering, burying a moan in the pillow. Lian followed seconds later.

“Liked the show?” Lian asked, glancing at Nicias as he slowly pulled out. 

“Stay, pet,” Nicias said, as Kitten began to move, and Kitten immediately raised his ass again. He knew what Nicias wanted and spread his legs a little wider, adjusting his stance to Nicias’s preferences without even thinking about it.

Lian snorted quietly. This was not the first time this had happened. “I didn’t know you had a kink for used goods,” he teased, watching Nicias push inside Kitten in turn. Nicias was rougher than he had been, and Kitten was even quieter. Even so, Lian saw him come again. He would be satisfied at least.

When Nicias was done, Lian pulled him close. Kitten tactfully drew away, curling up at the bottom of the bed while Lian took time to get Nicias hard again, and then fucked him too. Kitten didn’t like watching.


	14. Chapter 14

Lian found it adorably obvious when Kitten started pushing his luck. First it was little things. Being in the study while Lian was working and touching things. Eating the food Lian had intended to eat. Clearly going into Lian’s wardrobe. Moving things around. Trying on Lian’s jewellery. Nicias would have beaten him black and blue for the first of those offences, but Lian continued to do nothing. He understood. Kitten would find it reassuring to get some sort of punishment, because then Lian was the sort of man that Kitten was familiar with. It was good for Kitten to learn that universe wasn’t quite so predictable.

And then Kitten stopped trying to annoy him that way, and started to ask questions. Most were simple things, like what did Lian do when he was out of the apartment, what was he doing, why did people want to learn the things he taught. Trying to understand how the world worked, from the limited knowledge Kitten had about where he lived. Lian appreciated that Kitten understood nothing about the physical structure of the station, and that his concepts of both time and distance were poor. Kitten never went anywhere, and had no real reason to count days. Nicias’s schedule was too erratic for a pattern to be found.

Then there were the silly questions, why did Lian have so many green clothes, what his favourite fruit was, why did he have so many ear piercings. Lian answered them, sometimes honest, sometimes not, and he could tell that Kitten was using this to figure him out. He could see how fast Kitten was learning his tells and his inflections. Inevitably, one day, Kitten was going to ask about something important and would weigh up the answer.

It happened one day, after lunch, when Lian was lounging on the balcony and reading. Kitten had come close to him, curling up on the floor by his chair, turned to watch the birds.

“What is your name?” Kitten asked, quite abruptly, like he always did when he had thought about something for a very long time. “Did you choose it?”

Lian looked from the text to Kitten, curious as to exactly how long it had taken Kitten to summon enough courage to ask that one. He answered the second question, “I did, and it fits me.” He wondered if Kitten was brave enough to ask the first question again.

It took good five minutes for Kitten to try again, and Lian was pleased that he did. “But what is it?” he asked, very quietly, so that Lian could pretend that he hadn’t heard it if he wanted to. Kitten’s eyes never left the birds.

Lian considered what to say. This was not a question that he could answer, and he did not want to lie. “Maybe someday, if you live long enough, someone will tell you what my name is. But it won’t be me.”

Kitten frowned. He wasn’t happy with that, but he didn’t ask any more questions that day.

The next time Kitten was sitting on a study floor, cross-legged and attentive. He had just been playing a game designed to teach basic arithmetic and his mind wasn’t occupied enough. He had been learning natural numbers, but the lesson was a little too simple. “Is what you’re doing very dangerous?”

“Yes,” Lian answered.

“Could you get hurt?”

“Yes,” Lian said, not feeling like explaining that he was probably dead if he got caught. “But no one will harm you. They’ll think you’re too cute.” They wouldn’t even ask Kitten if he knew anything.

“Would Nicias get hurt?”

“Do you care about him, Kitten?” Lian asked.

Kitten hated it when Lian answered a question with a question. “He looks after me,” Kitten said quietly. He worried, sometimes. He was safe here, and his needs were taken care of.

“I doubt he’ll be harmed,” Lian said. If Nicias was, his mission would have gone terribly wrong. “His work will go badly for a time, so he won’t be happy.” He picked up the pad and found a more difficult lesson for Kitten before handing it back.

“Oh,” Kitten said, pondering that knowledge. That was a lot of talking, so he was done for that day. He learned a little maths, and in the evening tried sneaking into Lian’s bed.

It always took days between each conversation, and they never happened when Nicias was home. They were interspersed with times that Kitten asked innocuous things about Lian’s preferences, about sex, about whether he could have another game or another thing to watch. Lian usually gave him those things. Kitten had a curious mind, hungry for anything that might be on offer, and Lian had worked hard to make him confident enough to ask. It would have been cruel to deny him now.

Kitten learned that on the nights Nicias did not come home, he could come to Lian’s bed and curl up against Lian’s warmth. Sometimes Lian indulged him with lazy, affectionate sex, sometimes Lian just insisted that Kitten go to sleep. When Kitten was a sleepy lump next to him, it was almost like being elsewhere.

It was very late one night and Kitten was sticky and contented, when it occurred for him to ask, “Why don’t you ever kiss me? You kiss Nicias all the time.”

“I don’t like kissing,” Lian answered.

“But you do things you don’t like all the time,” Kitten said, refusing to accept such a silly answer. He didn’t even think that it was true.

“So you want me to kiss you even though I don’t like it?” Lian said, wondering if Kitten would push more.

Kitten lay there in silence for a long while. It was too dark for Lian to see the little frown that must be on Kitten’s face, but he could imagine it perfectly. Eventually, Kitten said, “Not really.”

Lian thought that was the end of it. He started to let himself doze off.

“Do you like me?” Kitten asked, quiet.

“How could anyone not like you?” Lian answered sleepily, and Kitten seemed happy enough.


	15. Chapter 15

“Do you think there will be a war?” Lian asked, flicking through the news. It was long before the alarm clock was set to go off.

“Why are you asking that?” Nicias asked. It was too early to talk about politics. He did not need to be awake. He rolled over to face Lian, who sitting up and looking annoyingly alert. Lian’s hair was an adorable mess. Lian’s early morning interest in foreign policy was much less cute.

“One thing here is about the budget increase for defence projects. Research and development – that’s your lot, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Nicias answered.

“Must be nice,” Lian joked. “Always getting the money you want.”

“Shouldn’t have been a historian, should you?” Nicias teased. Budgets for essential military projects were always wonderfully elastic. He had looked into Lian’s research. Even read one of the papers, a surprisingly entertaining fifteen thousand words, with diagrams, on the history of built environments in hostile conditions. He had enjoyed it, but he did not imagine that there was a lot of money being spent on looking at historical floor plans of space stations.

“Mm,” Lian said. “Anyway. There’s also this thing about the Federation buying ships.”

“So?” Nicias said, but he was more awake now. Why did Lian want to talk about this now? The war would come, but he did not think it would be soon. “You don’t have to worry. You will be safe here.”

“I’m not worrying,” Lian answered.

“Then go back to sleep.”

This was ignored. “There is a new alliance of conclaves in that territory that was announced a few days ago. So obviously they feel threatened,” Lian theorised.

“That alliance won’t last. They don’t have anything in common,” Nicias finally said, accepting that they were talking about this. He still felt sleepy. “The Federation needs to wait for that to happen, and raze them all.”

“Surely you don’t want that to happen, though,” Lian said. He resisted Nicias’s attempt to pull him down for a kiss, and continued talking, “That leaves no buffer between here and the Federation.”

“It would be no great loss,” Nicias said. He did not care if a bunch of machinists lost everything. “But yes, you’re right. There will be a war, and it helps us if they hold. If it goes well, they will mire the Federation long before they reach us. If not, we will have to stand against their whole fleet. It’d be doable, but it will cost us.”

“Is that why you have so many meetings with that machinist?” Lian asked, pensive. He worried about that war, for different reasons than Nicias did. But it was best not to seem like he took the idea too seriously. He should be feeling safe, in this comfortable bed, with this powerful man. 

“Yes,” Nicias answered. So many meetings, to negotiate for things his people could not build. If his work was successful, then there would be one less thing they would need to trade for.

“What’s their name again? Sun-something..?” He liked making Nicias say it.

Nicias ignored the bait. “I can’t wait to be done with that shit. I’m sure she doesn’t like us either.”

“Probably not,” Lian said with a shrug. He was certain that the machinist’s preferred pronoun was ‘they’, but he was not going to correct Nicias. “I’m sure that conclave is thrilled about dealing with people who think they don’t deserve any rights.” But multiple weapons deals still got done. Lian found it a little depressing.

“How can a non-human be a citizen?” Nicias asked in return. Only citizens deserved rights.

Lian smiled. Time to wander off the serious subject. “What if a khaytni wanted to be a citizen? Could they be one? They’re not human.”

Nicias snorted. “They are people, I suppose…” He was no keener on that idea, but khaytni were unsettling to people not used to them. “There is nothing against the _law_ …”

“Whatever. It’s not like any of them would ever want citizenship here,” Lian said, sounding amused. It was amazing how someone so intelligent could have such ridiculous prejudices. Such a narrow definition of what were deserving people. “Remember I’ll be back late tonight,” he added, patting Nicias’s side. “Be nice to Kitten. Remind him to feed the birds.”

“Sure, sure,” Nicias answered. He had no idea why Lian liked to have Kitten feed the birds, but whatever got Lian off. “Have fun.” He watched Lian stretch slowly and get out of bed. Lian’s ass was something to admire every time.

“See you later,” Lian said, heading to the shower first and then to his bedroom to put some clothes on.

Nicias heard Lian leaving the apartment twenty minutes later. Lian didn’t eat breakfast, then. Nicias got up then too, accepting that he was not going to sleep again. He checked his messages over a slow breakfast. He could hear Kitten move around in the living room, probably going to his favourite nap spot on the armchair. He always liked those quiet sounds. He could have enforced stricter discipline if he wanted to, but Kitten moving around so freely made the apartment more inhabited.

He went out for lunch, meeting up with a friend. For a few hours, they talked about work, family, and reminisced about the good old times at the academy. When he got home, he wondered where Lian was. Work, he assumed, but he checked the station network anyway, confirming the security overrides. He got the reassuring ping that Lian was exactly where he expected him to be. He answered some messages, but he got bored soon enough and went to look for Kitten. Kitten was never difficult to find, and this time Nicias found him curled up on one of the seats on the balcony.

“Have you fed those things?” Nicias asked, gesturing at the cage. He was utterly indifferent to the birds. The chirping they made was nice enough. Lian seemed to like them, and that was enough.

Kitten gave a small nod, sitting up to see if Nicias wanted anything else.

Nicias sat down on one of the chairs, watching Kitten. “What are you holding?”

Kitten smiled and opened his hand to show Nicias one of the red feathers. Sometimes they fell out, and they were pretty and soft to the touch. When Nicias held his hand out for it, Kitten smiled again and handed it over reluctantly.

Nicias ran his fingers over it and then dropped it to the ground. “Come,” he said.

Kitten glanced at the feather and followed Nicias to the kitchen. If the feather was still there later, he would pick it up, but the flows of station air might blow it away.

Nicias gestured to the floor and Kitten knelt, leaning against his leg. Nicias was in a good mood, so he gave Kitten little pieces of food, just enough for to amuse himself. Lian often gave Kitten little treats like this, and Nicias had noticed that it put Kitten in a very affectionate mood. It entertained him to do this too and to see how similar the effect was. Kitten was a simple creature.

“Good boy,” he said, when Kitten nuzzled his hand. He let Kitten sit with him while he read after dinner, and then took Kitten to bed. Kitten was always all happy when Nicias fucked him nicely, and even happier when allowed to sleep in the bed, so Nicias let him stay until Lian returned, long past midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me smile every time. :D Eventually you'll all get answers to your questions!


	16. Chapter 16

Lian got used to having Kitten under his feet. Kitten was good at being quiet company. He would sit somewhere nearby, or nap in a comfortable spot. If Lian gave him something to entertain himself with, he would do that in almost perfect silence. Lian was certain that would not have been how Kitten was originally trained. He wondered what Kitten would have been like without Nicias’s influence. Probably chatty and well-meaning and taking pleasure in everything that felt good, exactly like most of his kind. They were usually encouraged to be like that. It was charming in its way, but it would have driven Lian insane. He pondered whether it was cruel of him to like Kitten the way he was, but he had never been a particularly nice person. The question was more a curiosity than a concern.

He had read through the specification files. A lot of it was very dull – nutritional requirements, suggested schedule of check-ups, a very long list of all the diseases Kitten should be immune to, expected averages of Kitten’s metabolism. There were details of Kitten’s modifications, equally dull. Kitten’s healing abilities were the usual unsurprising decades-old military tech, and the changes to his nervous system mostly should have the effect to suppress pain and improve pleasure. Nicias had wanted Kitten not to age, which was one of the most common modifications available. He had also requested no inhibitors, nothing to make Kitten stupider or more obedient other than training and a deliberate lack of education. At the end of the files, there were suggestions about how to maintain mental health, but Lian learned nothing useful from that.

Lian already knew how to manipulate someone. He would give Kitten sweet things because Nicias didn’t, he would let Kitten watch trashy dramas because Nicias didn’t, he gave Kitten games because Nicias didn’t, and he was rewarded with Kitten’s affection and the brightest of his smiles. And when Lian sat down on the couch to read or to watch something, Kitten would be there in seconds to curl up against him. Kitten liked warmth and physical contact, and Lian gave it freely.

“Lian,” Kitten said, to get his attention, while they were both on the couch one evening.

“Yes, darling?” Lian said, patient even though Kitten was interrupting the movie he was quite enjoying watching.

“Why do you do. The thing that you do?” Kitten asked, going tense and wary as he spoke the question, not sure if he should ask at all.

“Because I believe that it is important,” Lian answered, his full focus immediately on Kitten.

“I don’t understand why you think that,” Kitten said, phrasing it as a statement to avoid making another question, but it was clear he wanted to know.

“Nicias does not think that you are a person,” Lian said, after a long pause. This might be a good way to approach the subject. He could not just dismiss or evade this question. It was too important.

“But I’m just a construct,” Kitten answered, not sure why Lian brought that up. “I’m a thing.”

Lian stroked Kitten’s cheek with his thumb. “What is the difference between a thing and a person? What is it that makes you not human?”

Kitten frowned. These were very complicated questions, and he barely even knew how to start. “I was made in a lab?”

“Sure, but so are many human children if the parents are infertile or wish to perform some sort of selection,” Lian said. “What is the difference between you and a human child with corrections for a genetic fault?”

“I was made by machinists?” Kitten tried.

“So are many people,” Lian said. “Nicias would not believe so, but Nicias is not the authority on the matter.” Lian was certainly not an authority on the matter either, but someone needed to at least make Kitten think about this.

“I don’t understand,” Kitten said.

“Kitten, there is no real way to decide whether you are human or not, a person or not,” Lian said. The boundary had always been vague, despite all the attempts to make it more defined. As constructs went, Kitten was the closest to being an unmodified human.

“You have enough human genetic material that many jurisdictions – by that word I mean places,” Lian simplified when he saw the expression on Kitten’s face, “Would simply accept you as whatever you claimed to be. In some places you do not even need to be human to claim rights. On the other hand, there are people with far more invasive implants than you, and they are still considered human.”

Kitten mulled over that in silence, frowning. Eventually he said, “But what do you think?”

“I think that it is very easy to be a thing. You decide nothing and accept what happens to you. You hand yourself over to someone else and let them choose everything.”

“But-“ Kitten started.

“I know you want to say that you have no choice. That is wrong, Kitten,” Lian interrupted. “You have some very bad choices. Maybe you don’t think about it that way, but you are choosing to stay here, and be good, and to remain alive. I wish your options were better.”

Kitten was silent. Lian kept stroking his face, but he did not relax.

“It has been known even for a soldier with the full set of inhibitors to refuse orders. For engineers to sabotage their work. For pilots and ships to refuse to cooperate. In those cases, the choices _hurt_. Do you understand?”

“I think so?” Kitten said, a little dubious.

Lian thought that it would take a while for Kitten to really comprehend that, but he thought that Kitten understood enough. “My people believe that you should have better choices,” he said. “That a person should be free to choose their function.”

“Lian, are you a construct?”

Lian snorted quietly. This was not the right question. “I am not.”

“Lian,” Kitten said, after a long pause, after he had thought about Lian’s answer. “Are you a machinist?”

“Yes,” Lian answered simply. “But you worked that out a while ago, haven’t you?”

Kitten chewed his lip. His silence confirmed Lian’s guess.

After a little while, Lian said, “Darling, you are a machinist too. It’s just that your conclave has sold and mistreated you. You deserved a better one.” But a better one would not have created Kitten at all.

It seemed like Kitten would say nothing else, so Lian reversed the section of the film that he had missed and started watching again.

“He tracks where you go,” Kitten said, almost an hour later.

“I knew that,” Lian said. “But thank you for telling me.”


	17. Chapter 17

Lian knew something was wrong as soon as he stepped into the apartment, because Kitten was sitting in the hallway and watching the front door, back pressed tightly against the wall. There was a single fresh bruise on his cheek, but Kitten was too afraid for the cause to be that.

“Lian,” Kitten said, keeping his voice low and quiet, trying to offer what warning he could. His eyes were very wide.

“ _Lian_ ,” Nicias called, commanding.

Lian smiled at Kitten reassuringly. This probably meant that he should run. He was not going to. “One moment,” he said, as if nothing was wrong. He took off his coat, and had just enough time to tuck a sheathed knife into the back of his trousers before Nicias came and dragged him to the living room. Kitten flinched against the wall.

“Ah,” Lian said, when he saw his bracelet broken on the coffee table, taken apart until the circuitry was revealed. The only question he had was if Nicias had called someone.

“Explain this,” Nicias said, gesturing at the bracelet.

“It is a jamming device,” Lian said simply. Did he fuck up? Did Kitten betray him? There was no point in pretending that he didn’t know what it was because he was sure that Nicias knew already. He felt that icy calm he always felt before everything went to hell, the conditioned response to fall into serenity. He noted that Nicias was armed and restless. Maybe he hadn’t called anyone yet. “How did you know what to look for?”

“Who are you working for?” Nicias asked.

“Why am I not in a cell, Nicias?” Lian said, turning as Nicias circled him. Nicias was taking this very personally, or the evidence was circumstantial. Maybe both.

“I want you to explain this to me,” Nicias said.

And not explain it in a cell! Funny. Lian snorted. Nicias wanted to deal with this himself. “If you’re going to kill me, I just want to know who blew my cover.”

“You did. One of my analysts found an unusual amount of surveillance outages at the university ever since you started working there.” Nicias did not deny the likelihood of murder. Reassuring.

“Ah,” Lian said. Was he just unlucky, then? Was his mission blown because someone took some initiative? He was glad it wasn’t Kitten.

“Were you actually going to marry me?” Nicias asked, sounding ready to tip into violence.

Ah, Nicias was emotional and offended. Lian could use that. He smiled, showing teeth. “Of course I was.” There was very little that he wasn’t willing to do.

“And then what?”

“The usual procedure would be to get a quiet divorce after a while, when the mission was done, and take a ship out to… Wherever, I suppose. You wouldn’t have even known. It’s the neatest way to finish. A relationship breakdown. I’d have found something to claim irreconcilable differences over. Our stance on children, maybe.”

“Do you find this funny?”

“Not particularly,” Lian said. He saw Kitten slink into the room behind Nicias. He wished Kitten hadn’t done that. He nudged the coffee table with his foot, pushing it away to make a little more space.

“Who do you work for?”

“Does it matter?” Lian asked.

“It really fucking does. That thing is machinist tech,” Nicias said. His hand was always on his gun.

It was a good idea to keep Nicias talking. Lian smiled, turning the gesture into a threat display. “I belong to Shatterpoint Station.”

“Fuck you,” Nicias said. “Answer me properly.”

“They _never_ believe me,” Lian said, keeping an eye on Nicias’s gun. If shots were fired, that would trigger the security, but at least Nicias had never wanted cameras inside the apartment. An alarm would go off and a physical team would need to be dispatched to check what was happening. “Are you recording my confession? You probably should. How else are you going to explain you murdered your fiancé? What other evidence is there against me? A bracelet and some weird data?”

“Who do you really work for?” Nicias insisted.

There was no recording, then. Nicias had really wanted this to not be true, for there to be some explanation, and thus he had failed to follow any procedure. It was the only thing that could save Lian now. He kept talking, “I told you. Shatterpoint.”

“You are not a machinist,” Nicias said.

“On the contrary, you will find that I am,” Lian answered. He kept his gaze away from the corner Kitten was hiding in. Kitten looked more scared than he was. “Have you called anyone?”

“What are you really?”

So Nicias hadn’t called anyone. Nicias had thought he could deal with it himself. “That’s a little rude, Nicias,” Lian said. “Don’t you mean who?”

“Don’t you use my name,” Nicias said, with a cold fury. “We’ll find out what you are when they dissect your corpse.”

“And there was me thinking you loved me,” Lian said. He moved first, pulling out the knife and slamming into Nicias before Nicias could get the gun up. The only advantage he could have was the element of surprise.

Unfortunately, Nicias was good. He caught Lian’s wrist and twisted until Lian dropped the knife. Lian went for the gun with his other hand. A shot hit the floor before Lian wrestled it away from Nicias and pushed the gun away. It slid out of either of their reach, ending up under the sofa. Neither of them could get to it now.

Nicias fought with a brutal, well-trained efficiency and Lian just about matched it. When Lian kicked him in the knee, Nicias pulled Lian down with him. Twisting, Lian tried to grab the knife but then Nicias punched him the ribs and he knocked it away instead, gasping for breath. Neither of them saw Kitten step in closer and pick up the knife, staring at them both.

Nicias was far too strong, and Lian’s speed and grace were no advantage when they were grappling on the floor. Two punches to the face barely seemed to deter Nicias. Lian knew he was losing this fight when Nicias’s hand was around his throat, hard and unyielding. He struggled, but he couldn’t get any grip. He needed less air than an unaltered human, but he was also running out, and his punches got weaker.

Then abruptly Nicias’s grip loosened and he turned in surprise, shocked by something. Lian understood as soon as he saw Kitten scrambling back. Lian took advantage without even thinking, slamming a blow into Nicias’s temple, then pulling the knife out of his back. He shoved it back in with better aim and stepped away to watch Nicias bleed. He hadn’t needed to stab Nicias again, he realised. Kitten’s lucky blow had hit an artery.

Breathing hard, Lian looked at Kitten. He had minutes at the most to get out. He took a step towards Kitten, but Kitten backed away until his back hit the wall, eyes wide open in shock.

“Darling,” Lian said. “I can’t take you with me. You have a tracking chip.” Lian could theoretically cut it out, but Kitten would not be able to walk after that. He was stuck.

“Kitten, sweetheart,” Lian said, when Kitten only stared at him.

“Please don’t kill me,” Kitten said, ducking away from Lian’s arm.

Lian stopped. “I’m not going to kill you.” If only Kitten was stupider and he was less sentimental.

“What do I do?” Kitten asked, desperately. “Tell me what to do.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Kitten said. He was not sure that was true, but Lian would take it.

“The police will come. You must tell them what happened. Say that we argued. It looked like he was going to kill me, so you tried to help me. You didn’t realise what would happen. You don’t know where I went, but I looked scared. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Kitten said. It was even mostly true. “Yes,” he repeated. “I can. Do that.”

“I will send someone to help you,” Lian promised. He was not certain that Kitten believed him. He was not certain that he was promising anything that was possible. “You saved my life. I owe you,” he said. “Trust me.”

Kitten moved away from Lian, to the corner furthest away both from Lian and Nicias’s body.

Lian made a sound of frustration and turned away. He needed to book a ticket, to lay a false trail. He went to his room. Nicias had ransacked it, but he picked up the few small items he needed and found clean clothes. He left the bloody ones on the floor. He was not certain Kitten was going to do what he asked, but he did not want to be the one to kill Kitten either.

He paused on his way out. Kitten was still in the same place.

“Goodbye,” Lian said. “Good luck. Maybe I’ll see you again.”

Kitten did not reply. When the police entered the apartment he still hadn’t moved. He didn’t know what to do. When they asked him what happened, he told them what Lian had wanted him to say. He hoped they didn’t find Lian. 


	18. Epilogue I

Each time Kitten was taken to the interrogation room, he felt sick. The first time it was people to ask what had happened, not believing he had really killed his owner. They did not seem to know what to do with him. Things like this simply did not happen. He told them it was an accident, while knowing it was not. He did not know if they believed him. Maybe. He did not understand how everything could have fallen apart so suddenly.

The second time they asked him what he knew about Lian, and he said only what he thought Lian would want him to: his owner’s fiancé, always nice to him. That he had been afraid when he saw the argument. He wondered where Lian was. Hopefully gone. If they had found Lian, he doubted anyone would be asking him anything. They did not seem to expect him to give useful answers. That was a relief. It made it easier to lie. He remembered all the ways Lian had lied. He wondered if Lian had lied to him. But he had nothing to gain by changing his story now.

The third time it was days later, doctors to check him over for any malfunction, poking and prodding him with complete indifference to his discomfort. An engineer from the conclave that created him watched, increasingly displeased. No one told him what the result of any of this was.

The fourth time he was brought in, he simply stared wide-eyed. It was obvious that neither of the people waiting were from the station. One was seated comfortably, and the other stood a single step behind, on guard. Kitten had no idea why they might be there. He tried smiling, but neither of them returned it. The guards pushed him into a chair and reached for the restraints. Kitten always thought it was pointless to restrain him. It wasn’t like he was going to attack anyone. (But he had attacked someone, hadn’t he?)

“There is no need for that. Leave us,” the seated person said, and the guards left without another word. This person had an air of authority that made Kitten immediately want to do everything they asked. Their features were beautiful, green eyes bright and perfectly shaped, the silver hair pulled back into a neat coil at the nape of their neck. They wore a whole series of bracelets on their arm, the black ceramic stark against pale skin.

Something about the way the machinist spoke felt familiar.

“It is good to see you in person,” the machinist said, looking entirely at ease, relaxed in the body as if it was a well-worn and familiar tool.

Kitten’s eyes widened in surprise as he realised where he knew this voice from. The other end of Lian’s calls. He said nothing.

“We have been instructed by our conclave to take an interest in this case. We will not speak our name in a room under surveillance, but we can tell you our primary function is to serve as an architect of Shatterpoint Station. Ghost obliges us today by being our protection.”

Kitten looked at Ghost. They wore ordinary clothes and had no obvious weapons, but something told Kitten that this was one of the most dangerous people he had ever seen. Ghosts’s stillness, perhaps? An intimidating sort of elegance? The absolute blankness of Ghost’s expression? He looked back at the architect. “I don’t understand.”

The architect shrugged gracefully, as if they did not understand why they were doing this either. “You may ask us any question you wish. We are here to try to help.”

“Where is Lian?” Kitten asked.

“We are sorry. Lian is unable to come.”

Kitten chewed his lip. This was a politic answer. He did not like it. He wanted an actual answer. “Am I going to see him?”

“No,” the architect answered, as gently as they could. They were not unkind, but they were not practised at compassion. “We are sorry that we are the ones that have to tell you this, but it is unlikely you will ever see him again.”

Kitten stared at the floor, feeling something inside him twist. He had known this. It still hurt to hear it. “What happened to my birds?”

“We do not know,” the architect answered. They had no idea what birds, probably. They were not going to lie about something as irrelevant as this.

Kitten was silent, looking at the join where the table was bolted to the floor.

“Do you understand your situation here?”

“They are going to kill me,” Kitten said. No one had said, but it was obvious. He had killed a person. It did not matter how or why. There was no other penalty. The only question was when. Kitten wished someone would tell him.

“That is one possible outcome of this situation, yes,” the architect answered serenely. “However, a friend has suggested that you might be of further use to us.”

“But I killed someone,” Kitten said. That surely made him useless. He couldn’t have failed to fulfil his function more.

The architect tilted their head, as if weighing up whether Kitten was more dense than expected. “We are aware.”

Kitten looked at the architect in baffled silence. Something cold felt lodged inside him. He could not understand the architect’s tone. It almost made it sound like having killed was in his favour. But that couldn’t be right, could it? He looked at Ghost, but Ghost’s expression had never changed once, not even a single twitch of facial muscles.

“Would you like to live?” the architect prompted. “Or should we leave?”

“Don’t leave,” Kitten said quickly. He did not want to die and this was going to be the only lifeline on offer. And these were Lian’s people, weren’t they?

“Good,” the architect said, as if Kitten had done exactly what they expected. “We need to explain to you what will happen.”

It was a long explanation, and the architect was patient enough to take time clarifying the legal terms, the complications of the case, how long it was going to take. Kitten understood, eventually – in the simplest of terms, Shatterpoint Conclave was claiming that he required asylum after a political assassination. It seemed absurd when an hour ago he hadn’t even known what that was. But it worked.

Kitten saw none of the court case. He was interrogated again, this time with Ghost’s silent presence in the room to unnerve his questioners, and he stuck to the same story. He had been told to ignore the frustration of the investigators, so he did. It was easier now that someone was telling him what to do. The architect spoke for him behind closed doors, and when it was done he didn’t care to find out anything about it. He realised only vaguely the drama unfolding as the whole thing dragged on, but all he ever saw were four walls of a cell and occasionally the architect to inform him how it was going.

A long time later, he found the only thing worth remembering was Ghost’s hand steadying him as he stepped out of the station’s gravity and onto the less certain gravity of the waiting ship, with the thought that he would never be back, and never be the same person.


	19. Epilogue II

Lian breathed easier once he made his way onto the transport ship, a fake indenture chip under his skin, wearing a set of second-hand clothes and carrying only a single backpack. It had been so easy to leave. They had scanned the chip without even looking at his face – now he was just another labourer sent to a strange and distant place to work out the years the chip counted down, obediently taking the ship that the contract holders had booked.

In the narrow bunk assigned to him, still smelling of sharp cleaning chemicals, he felt at home. He stowed his few things and joined in a game of chance with his roommates, winning some knitted socks, losing a package of freeze-dried fruit. The winner was gracious and shared it with everyone, and Lian had smiled, already wearing a new name like it had always belonged to him.

He read the news and saw the scandal about the general’s death unfold. Killed by a lower order construct used as a pet. The event was so unusual that everyone on the ship discussed it, but Lian heard reassuringly few of the facts. Kitten had lied for him. He saw images of the architect Last Stars of The Morning, but journalists did not seem to know who they were, and most of them did not know what Shatterpoint Conclave was other than the vaguest of rumours. The speculation was wilder every day. It was entertaining, in its way. He felt a small measure of pride. So much chaos, and he was nothing else than the fiancé that had disappeared and that Narrei was refusing to force to testify. As a political principle they did not compel their citizens to do anything. That was why he had picked it as a home.

He knew that the true measure of his success would not be found in any public file. He was certain that there were classified government reports that speculated about who he really was, and analysts digging into his identity. It might even hold, but probably someone would find a chink and the whole thing would fall. He had done a good job, though. He had found valuable data, and he had survived.

He was certain the architect would be pleased, in their abstract way. They did not need a new, minor recruit, but docking a gunship in the station and claiming someone so publicly was a show of power that was useful to the conclave. Someone would be in the military archives looking up everything about Shatterpoint Station and worrying. That thought was pleasing.

He did not regret Nicias’s death. It had been an unfortunately messy end to the mission, but Nicias was a soldier, and so was he. Not everyone survived a battle, and when it came to one life or another, he would always choose himself, because that was his duty. To return each time.

He did not regret leaving Kitten. That was a necessity. Others would take care of that, and if not, not. That was how life went. It was long and full of losses. He hoped that Kitten survived and lived a long life, far away from men like himself or Nicias. He did not expect to see Kitten again, whatever happened. The slow hard work of turning Kitten into something alive and beautiful was not for him. He wondered what names Kitten might pick for himself, but he also knew that he was unlikely to ever find out what those might be.

His role was to take a ship to another port, switch identities a few times until he was back to being not even adjacent to something interesting, and then return home to be remade. He would get rest before another mission. Time to see his partners that he hadn’t seen for years. To see how much their children had grown up. And then when that was done, he would change his face again, he would become someone else and do the same thing again, like he had been rebuilt to so many times, like he had chosen to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! This was originally started to entertain a friend, and the original draft would not have been finished without their encouragement.
> 
> I would love to know all your thoughts, and perhaps what you would be interested in a sequel. ;)
> 
> I can be found on twitter as @kyffles and discord as Kyffles#4793.


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